Interests:Reading, writing poems, writing in general, driving, and spending quality time with people whom I care about. Expertise:Martial arts Occupation:Student Industry:SSGC
Kneeling on the ground, Shattered glass all around, Cuts and wounds on hands and knees, Holding his heart ever so delicately.
Shielding it from the broken glass, Despite the pain of a heart without, Screaming out an anguished cry, The gaping wound never bleeding dry.
Clutching it desperately while in agony, To let it fall and shatter, And die a quick death, Or hold it closer still, And hope that there will be a miracle, Is now the final choice.
Unsure if holding on, His prayer will be fulfilled, Or after a slow agonizing death, Come to be still.
His wings before so radiantly white, Now a deathly pale, Stained in wet drops of crimson, They fold around himself as the winds around him wail, Unable to stand till that Day he is risen, Or by His will that miracle comes to heal.
Hoping against the odds, Praying for that miracle, Yet accepting what may come, His Father's will be done.
With the last of his strength, The very last bit of his will, He cries out his anguished cry, "God, help me."
Zombie Shopping Mall Workers and Road Hazardous Rich Housewives
Most people only see the closing of a shopping mall when the mall decides to call it a day (I'm talking about 1 Utama in this case), tired from all the people stepping around its insides looking for goodies as if he was some sort of overgrown pinata (Yes, I described the shopping mall as a 'he' because its alive....metaphorically speaking). Only walk-through-and-find-goodies and not-smash-me-to-bits-for-candy. What most people don't see is the opening up time of a shopping mall. Interesting though irrelevant information this is, you'll find that the parking lot level called B2 is where the shopping mall workers park their vehicles. That's the irrelevant part. The interesting part is that the motions of the people exiting their vehicles and heading towards the upper levels of the mall was like a scene from a B-grade zombie movie. Moaning and grunting while their bodies swaying gently left and right as one whole horde. Complete with droopy eyes and pouty lips or slightly gaping mouths.
The atmosphere inside is pretty serene, a little weird but a pleasant sort of serenity. Or at least as much pleasant serenity as one gets while in a sleep inducing drowsy atmosphere. Kind of like those moments when you just woke up from bed and try to get that extra 5 minutes of sleep. That being said, it felt nice to be there merely to sit and think while zombie mall workers are shuffling around somewhat aimlessly like wandering souls (I was there to do an observation assignment for my course),
Anyway, when I was done, I packed up and headed home. Now as I was driving down the slope that connected the highway to the little road parallel to itself that goes into my residential area, I came to a stop to allow a passing Mercedes on the little road to pass. Thats when I heard a loud *BANG* and found myself and poor Jarod (my car) lurching forward and barely came to a stop next to the Mercedes' driver's seat.
Just moving of topic for awhile, its interesting how a person's reaction to a near death experience differ from another. I always thought that the standard reaction that people would have was a bewildered expression that goes like this:
But apparently some people's expression to a near death experience goes more like *blink blink* "Hmmmm, interesting." *then proceeds to drive of*. Thus, his expression was like this:
Either the guy is pretty oblivious to his surroundings or he thought his tough looking Mercedes can take a hit from a tiny Kelisa and not even worry if there is a scratch. Which is not exactly what I can say about my fate, or Jarod's condition.
Anyway, back to the story. The woman driver in her brand new oh-so-shiny Honda Accord and I started to discuss what to do about the damage to my car (by the way, her car doesn't even have a scratch). Said woman driver in all her rich bling bling and broken English speaking glory said:
a) You shouldn't have stopped at the slope, just VAROOOM ahead only!!!
Comment: My brain must have VAROOOMed itself of a cliff if I want to live with a lifetime of guilt for the Mercedes guy's manslaughter.
b) You go slow, I go slow, you stop, I bang, your fault also la!!!"
Comment: So darn wrong in so many levels. No, I stop...YOU FREAKING KEEP YOUR *BANG* AWAY!!!!
and finally....
c) I won't pay....go make report la!!!! *does a catwalk to her car and drives of with a huff*
Comment: I hope your insurance has enough greens to pay for my car before you bleed it dry for liposuction malfunction (No offense intended really, and I mean REALLY. Its just the truth, from a hypothesized assessment of personality). Oh well, of to the police station now. If that doesn't cut my day, my parents (mainly my mother) are being their usual charming selves when they say "ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!".............................yep, perfectly charming. Way to kick a guy down when he's already....down.
Thank God for His mercy like, keeping me alive. Mainly that. Thank God....I'm alive!!!! Well, hopefully tomorrow will come with greater blessings, miracles, and generally be a better day. Scratch the 'better'....make that a fantastic day. =)
It's been awhile since I came back here to speak out my mind, to dwell on lofty thoughts, to ponder over philosophical arguments, or simply to write down reflections on where my life could possibly be going. Right now though, I'm never felt so aware of how really small and fragile beings we all are. Never so fully conscious of the fact that I (or us people for that matter) am a small speck of fragile glass in this universe. Where in a blink of an eye anything can happen.
From the tragic to the greatest joy, or from being stuck in trivial and mundane things to being awakened to the deeper meaning of life. One moment can be in this life, the next could be in the afterlife.
In one single breath we could have brought new found life and joy to someone, and in that same breath we could have just shattered someone's will to live.
And in that seemingly innocent, almost insignificant and unnoticeable, act, decision, or choice, lies a deeper meaning and effect that ripples throughout the world.Unnoticed and unseen.
That is why I suppose, I'm writing this down here now. To remind myself that there are more things going on in this world unseen to our naked eyes, and that there is so much more to this life. Hoping at the same time, perhaps this post might somehow leave a positive ripple unto this world as well.
I'm sure some people don't really know what I'm talking about, but I hope that you'll just ponder about what I'm trying to say first before just brushing it aside as nothing more but mere ramblings. Because it's the fact that sometimes we just don't think about what we value, about what we're doingthat actually makes our lives and the lives of those around us so....empty. Mundane. Lifeless.
We see things on television channels such as E! News that talk about how celebrities do nothing but spent money on extravagant things or collect endorsement deals like collecting stamps, and we say to ourselves "Wow, I wish I had that sort of cash." or "Hmmmm, I think I'll try to be like that (or better yet, try to earn as much as they do)."
Reality programs show us how people bicker, slice and dice each other just to beat out the competition.Winning is everything they say, the guy who dies with the most toy's wins.
Then there are those who insist on doing something so profoundly wrong but insist on doing it, even to the extent of demanding the right to do it, just because it feels good or it feels right. How can something that feels so right, be so wrong?
The crunch of what I've been trying to say is that, life is not about fame or fortune, about having lots of money, the latest fashions, the most advance gadgets, or pampering yourself with luxuries. There is nothing wrong with that, but life just shouldn't revolve around just that. We are of more value that just the things we have.
The world is the horrible place it is because of such attitudes of "beating out the competition". Charity, the investment of your time in someone's life gives more fulfillment than beating out everyone in life. You may win the competition and be the king of the mountain. But the top of the mountain is a very cold and lonely place. He who dies with the most toys is the winner, but he still dies.
Some argue that certain practices are merely that, a practice. A construction of society. Which means, it can be changed. There may be a grain of truth in it, there may not. But some things never change at all, and for good reason. One just has to think through those reasons to understand why some things aren't meant to change and there will be a lot less fighting going on. Just because it feels right, it doesn't mean its good for you. There is a good saying that goes "Don't tear down the fence until you know why it was first put up."
I guess what I'm saying is that the world is really going through a horrible time. But it will be a lot less horrible and much more bearable if everyone starts to realize how fragile this life is and start to treasure it. Because its meant to be treasured, your life is of value for a reason. Life IS of VALUE. And its not just about where we're going to after this life. Whether one believes in heaven and hell or not, there is no denying that life is precious. If not, you might as well take a bungee jump of the nearest tower without the rope.
Here's a little something to think about before leaving. Enjoy the video. Until next time, i there is a next post at all.
Its been awhile since I've truly updated this blog. I confess a lot of this was due to laziness. But mainly because of a lack of inspiration of what I truly wanted to say. It was only until recently it struck me in the head, what I should be pondering about. And perhaps, what most of us should ponder about every now and then. I've return from an incredibly spirit-filled end of the year youth camp last year and more recently in the beginning of the year, Residential Bible School. And the question that I've found myself asking was "Can that mountain top experience that we have with God ever be immortalized into our everyday lives?" Then as if in answer to that, I felt God speaking to me through one of my devotional materials. The passage that struck me was this:
We all have moments when we feel better than ever before, and we say, "I feel fit for anything; if only I could always be like this!" The fact is...we are not meant to be. Those moments are moments of insight which we have to live up to even when we do not feel like it. Many of us are no good for the everyday world when we are not on the mountain top.
Yet at the end of the day, after having a moment together with God in
His presence at the top of the mountain, we must bring our everyday
life up to the standard revealed to us on that mountain top when we
were there.
Be it to my own fellow SSGC/Agape members or to my fellow RBS mates of 2008, I hope this encourages you as much as it has encouraged me as I read the passage:
Never allow a feeling that has awakened in you, as you encountered God
on the mountaintop, to evaporate. Don't place yourself on the shelf by
thinking, "How great to be in such a wonderful state of mind!"
Act immediately----do something, even if your only reason to act is that you would rather not. If God does show you something to do, don't say, "I'll do it"----just do it!
Pick yourself up by the back of the neck and shake off your fleshly
laziness. Laziness can always be seen in our cravings for a mountaintop
experience; all we ever talk about is our planning for our time on the mountain.
We must learn to live in the ordinary "gray" day according to what we saw on the mountain.
Don't give up because you have been blocked and confused once-----go after it again. Burn the bridges behind you......
and stand committed to God by an act of your own will.
Never change your decisions, but be sure to make your decisions in the light of what you saw and learned on the mountain.
Peter, James and John witnessed Jesus' transfiguration on the mountain. They saw Him become whiter than snow in a blinding light. They were shown a glimpse of who Jesus really was. That signified their close relationship with God and God revealed to them who Jesus was. And it is that vision that they took from the mountain and carried it through all their lives. It is that revelation of what God had shown them that was lived inside them and revealed itself to others through their own lives.
I hope that we too will never forget what God has shown each of us on Camerons and that we will carry what revelations that were revealed to us from God into the ordinary "gray" day of our lives.
And let us be reminded that we are never alone as we struggle. But let
us always uphold each other in prayer and in love. Let us always love
in action and in truth.
And finally, let us be encouraged that ultimately when we walk in the
light as He is in the light, if we "obey his commands..." we will live
in Him and He in us. For "He will never
leave us nor forsake us."
Be reminded as well, that God will also always keep watch over you by sending His angels to guard you always. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
